Utopia 2025

Beautiful, bracing stuff over at Daily Kos:

Cries from the Lake of Fire

Hat tip: John Callender at lies.com

An excerpt:

I know you hate me, and anyone else who dares disturb the thin strands of alternate reality in which George W. Bush is an intellectual giant, Saddam really was responsible for 9/11, the economy is getting better by the minute, and we capture the most very important members of al Qaeda on a weekly basis.

But here’s some advice. You’d better start hating me more. This is the world you forged and, unfortunately for you, I’m beginning to take a fancy for it. Welcome to the politics of your own party, finally sprouting from the ground on which you planted the seeds and shat upon them.

Amen, brother.

Which is worse:

A) American soldiers torturing prisoners

B) Releasing photos of the abuse

Take your time with your answer. This one’s important.

“But I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could — if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down.”

-Bill Bennett, America’s self-appointed morality czar (and gambling addict), on the radio this week

Boy the good news just keeps on coming this week:

Judge orders release of Abu Ghraib photos

That was some fraternity party, wasn’t it, Rush?

DeLay indicted, steps down.

Put a fork in him. Next?

As if we needed further proof that Onion-style satirical humor is obsolete in our society: only after Tom Burka of “Opinions You Should Have” wrote the satirical headline “Mike Brown To Take Charge Of Congressional Investigation of FEMA” did he learn that his joke had basically come true.

I believe that the apex of The Onion was the 2001 headline heralding the inauguration of George W. Bush: “Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Finally Over.” Since then, well, reality is just moving too fast for any satirist to keep up.

My friend David and I were talking about the premiere of “The West Wing” this week, and how much we enjoyed getting back to those characters we loved. (The scene between Donna and Josh was both heartbreaking and refreshingly real.) And now there’s “Commander in Chief” starring Geena Davis starting tonight, where she plays the first female U.S. President.

“This is good,” said David. “These days, we need all the fake Presidents we can get.”

So true. So true.

“I want fake Sunday shows to start talking about what the fake Presidents are doing during the week,” he said. “Bring on ‘Capital Beat!'”

I support it.

Dangers of a Drunk Dubya

What he said.

Odious gun nut whackjob Kim “John Fuckface Kerry” du Toit and his wife, the even more odious Connie “Dissent is treason” du Toit, have both completely shut down their web sites. From what I can gather, Kim got a new job, and was perhaps a skosh concerned that his wild-eyed rantings about killing all the ragheads and hanging liberals from telephone poles might cause some consternation with his new employer.

This after the du Toits admitted that their online business venture, DidToday, was just about scuttled when investors pulled out after discovering the couple’s hateful, disgusting rantings.

Couldn’t happen to a more deserving pair. I can only hope that their sites stay dead – there’s enough filth on the internet as it is.

A tale of crescents and cones.

The elephant in the room of the crapweasel right is their own screaming stupidity. One thinks it’s a tree trunk, one thinks it’s a rope, one thinks it’s a spear, and one thinks it’s a fan.

Bill O’Reilly thinks it’s a falafel.

NOTE TO CRAPWEASELS: Did you know that New Orleans is known as the “Crescent City”? Let loose the dogs!