Utopia 2025

Lt. Gen. Kevin Kiley is the third high-ranking military official forced out because of the scandalous treatment of veterans at Walter Reed Hospital. Could this finally be a tipping point, where patriotic Americans begin to realize that conservatives don’t care at all about the troops, no matter how much accusatory finger-pointing or heart-tugging country songs stomp through our war-infested culture?

No wait. What was I thinking? Of course, the answer is “no.” The line is a dot, people.

Unhinged eliminationist gun-obsessed perv Kim du Toit has decided that he’s shutting down comments on his site, because he’s tired of a few stray attacks on him and his wife, the vivacious, bombastic universal scold Connie du Toit. Up to now, his flying monkeys have pretty much toed the line, probably because they are too busy stroking their highly-polished shotguns to challenge him on anything. Well, those happy days are gone.

I must admit that one of my sharpest incidents of schadenfreude was when I learned that Kim and Connie’s homeschooling database business, Did Today, collapsed because investors were horrified with the du Toits’ combined online output. Who knew that years of calling for the violent death of your political enemies would have such negative consequences?

And so the withdrawal continues, as they homeschool their children and retreat into their fantasy of the 1950s America that never existed in the first place.

Go with God, you two.

So did you hear the one about the military guy who was the toast of the right, after speaking out about being called names on the Columbia University campus by the college’s “radical anti-military students”?

Yeah – turns out his previous career was in show business. He was a star – of gay porn.

And guess what? Matt “Rod Majors” Sanchez had his picture taken at CPAC with Ann Coulter, just as she was making the “faggot” comment about John Edwards. He was at CPAC to accept the Jeanne Kirkpatrick Academic Freedom Award.

You can’t make this stuff up, people.

Of course, the crapweasels are rallying around him. Because let’s face it: he may be a (self-denying ex-porn-star ex-manwhore) faggot, but he’s *their* faggot. It’s also sad and tragic that Sanchez has pledged his undying support to a movement that doesn’t think he should have been allowed into the military in the first place.

My favorite part of his whining display of victimhood on Salon was his contention that lefty blogs were “prying into his private life.” Personally, I think if your naked ass is displayed on video racks in every porn shop in the U.S., your “film career” isn’t part of your “private life.”

Of course, he won’t. He’ll get a pardon, sometime between Election Day 2008 and Inauguration Day 2009. But it’s just too pleasurable not to write that headline.

In surveying the right-wing crapweasel web sites, as I do more often than I should for the sake of my blood pressure and overall sanity, I’ve come across a broad spectrum of defenses of Ann Coulter’s “faggot” remark. I hereby record them for posterity – paraphrased, but with the basic meaning intact.

1. Ann wasn’t calling Edwards a faggot – she was referring to Isaiah Washington from “Grey’s Anatomy.”
2. Ann didn’t call Edwards a faggot – in fact, she specifically *declined* to call him a faggot.
3. Ann was using the word in the “schoolyard taunt” sort of way – not to mean “gay.” (This came not only from her defenders, but from Ann herself on “Hannity” last night)
4. I thought being gay was great, according to liberals. Is there something wrong with being gay, now?
5. Gays call each other “faggot” all the time. What’s the big deal?
6. Faggot actually means: bundle of sticks, female prostitute, old woman, bassoon (!) etc. etc. ad infinitum.
7. The comment didn’t have anything to do with Edwards – it was all about media hysteria over language.
8. It was a joke!
9. There were a lot worse things Ann could have called Edwards, but she didn’t.
10. Why are liberals trying to take away Ann Coulter’s freedom of speech? Liberal Nazis.
11. Apparently to liberals, it’s OK to say vicious things about Christians, but you can’t sneeze in the direction of a gay.
12. Ann was taken out of context (again).
13. I hate liberals and their manufactured outrage.
14. Ann was making a good point. Who wants the Breck Girl as Commander-in-Chief?

UPDATE: Best weblog comment of the week, from Hot Air:

I’d just like to add that liberals don’t love to bash Christians, just people who call themselves Christians right after calling someone else a faggot.